


The Trigger

by MouseMinionDuckLover



Category: Gargoyles (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Family Dynamics, M/M, Some Swearing, Working Through Grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:48:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26703979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MouseMinionDuckLover/pseuds/MouseMinionDuckLover
Summary: A "What if...?" story about what could possibly drive sweet, smart little Lexington to become the maniac he was in Puck's illusion, in the season two episode "Future Tense". It's the year 2002, the place is Manhattan New York and Amp has been killed in the same battle with the Quarrymen that leaves his mate Lexington a cyborg. Between adjusting to his new body, the loss of the love of his life, and dealing with his extended family, some more well meaning than others, Lex has a lot to process and not much help in doing so.
Relationships: Lexington/Staghart (Gargoyles)
Kudos: 3





	1. Surface Tension

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies for the swearing, I recently began following Lexington's voice actor on social media and, as sweet a guy as Thom Adcox-Hernandez is, he swears like a sailor when he's upset and I figured since Lex is so firmly based off his actor that meant he must cuss when frustrated too lol! Not to mention all the characters who were teenagers in the nineties are adults in this fic, so...(shrugs) sorry if you don't like that.  
> The website I got the quote from, at the beginning of this fic, is healthline.org.

*Not everyone will experience all five stages, and you may not go through them in this order. Grief is different for every person, so you may begin coping with loss in the Bargaining stage and find yourself in Anger or Denial next. You may remain for months in one of the five stages but skip others entirely.*

Lexington frowned thoughtfully and glanced at the short list of stages at the top of screen. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.  
He was definitely skipping Denial, there was no denying the burning anguish of his loss. His own battered and reconstructed body was a constant reminder that his life would never be the same again.

Anger? Oh hell yes! If fury was a viable energy source, his could power the entire eastern seacoast of America well into the next century. Anger at the Quarrymen who planted a bomb in P.I.T's headquarters. Anger at himself for not listening when Goliath ordered him to fall back instead of of running back into the doomed building, in the vain hopes of rescuing one more child. Anger at Amp for following him and being too distracted to notice their enemies closing in around them with those damn hammers charged and ready, and more anger at himself for failing to warn his mate that death was sneaking up on him.

Bargaining? No. There was no science, nor magic, that could bring back all that was taken from him and no amount of begging God was going to change those facts. Sometimes being the sensible, scientific one sucked. He could use some false hope right about now. It sounded like a drug and he didn't mind the possibility of being too high to register reality for the foreseeable future. But then again, that's why they called it 'getting high' because eventually you had to come back down to Earth. Which was why Depression being the next stage made perfect sense.

'Depression as a stage of grief, well no fucking kidding! Who would have guessed that one?' Lexington rolled his eyes, half growled half sighed in equal parts frustration and turned off his laptop pushing it aside. He folded his arms on the huge table of the Grand Hall and hid his face on them.  
He didn't even need to think about the last stage. Acceptance? Yeah, he accepted what had happened. What other choice did he have? He screwed up, got his mate killed and himself mangled. Why wasn't guilt one of the stages? who was the moron who came up with this stuff anyway?

The Grand Hall was chilly with no fire in the massive fireplace. Goliath hadn't lied to Elisa, all those years ago, that cold didn't bother Gargoyles the way it did humans, but that didn't mean that they preferred it. What Lexington wouldn't give to feel those strong arms covered in soft fur pull him close and those beautiful white feathered wings moving to block out the rest of the world, granting him the kind of peace and sense of belonging that he never knew he had been craving until it was offered to him. Never again, gone.

Like his ability to trust with his whole heart, thanks members of The Pack. Like Scotland and all his other rookery siblings, thanks Vikings. Like his two surviving brothers who had seemed to grow up over night without him (one figuratively, the other literally) thanks Avalon. Like his ability to look in mirrors without cringing or to hug his rookery children without the little ones flinching first, thanks Quarrymen.  
He punched the table, not thinking, he used his new cybernetic arm and an impressively long crack erupted down the length of the antiques' surface like a runaway spider web.

"Shit." he whispered, staring in surprise. Sure he had always been a runt, but he was still a Gargoyle. He took for granted how strong his people inherently were, but this? He was going to have to be more careful from now on. No more horsing around with the kids. Nashville, Tachi and Alex, good God, what if he...? With a groan that came directly from his heart, Lexington slumped forward hiding his face once more in his arms.

"Lex, you ok?"

The voice was soft, feminine and slightly smokey. It sounded like home and hope and the love of an elder rookery sister. Lexington didn't respond right away. He knew how Elisa had meant her poorly worded concern, but that didn't change the fact that he wanted to snap at her for it. At least he was still in control of his frustration enough to keep himself from lashing out at his innocent clan mates.

'Must not be in the full fledged Anger stage yet.' the young cyborg smirked to himself. He felt a warm hand gently clutch his still organic one. A gesture meant to comfort, but the only touch he craved was beyond his reach now. He shifted his arm to over his head, also part metal now, housing his partly computerized brain. The irony of becoming half machine, when he was the one to have so completely embraced the modern technology of their new era, wasn't lost on him. Hell he'd have a good laugh over it if he didn't hate the sound of his own voice these days. Amp had loved his voice and Lex couldn't help but wonder how his mate would have felt about the metallic tinged sound he was saddled with now.

Elisa silently knelt next to his chair, leaning forward and draping herself over his hunched shoulders in a loose embrace. The seasoned detective wasn't normally the cuddling type but the warmth she provided wasn't entirely unwelcome. Lexington realized this was probably the closest equivalent to Gargoyles wrapping their wings around a loved one that a human could manage. It made him feel guilty for wishing she would just stop and leave him alone.

"You want to talk about it?" she invited as she pulled back to look at him.

Lex shook his head and turned away. He didn't want to talk, he didn't want to risk blowing up at her, or worse, crying. Not in front of Elisa, his friend and clan sister, his leader's love, no his pride wouldn't allow it. He respected her too much to let himself be that weak.

"Ok." she said quietly and nodded. Her brown eyes went slightly wide for a split second and she pulled out her wallet, as though suddenly remembering something. She searched through many paper cards before handing him one. "Maybe some ananymity would help you feel like opening up to someone." she smiled and squeezed his shoulder, a hopeful look on her lovely face.

Lexington looked down at the card, it was a grief console hotline, twenty-four seven and completely anonymous if one so pleased. He fought hard to keep the frown off his face and muttered his false graditude. Why on Earth did she think he'd open up to a total stranger when he didn't feel comfortable with his own clan? Besides the bother of having to mind just how much of the truth he let on. The councilor on the other end would ether think he was delusional or tell the closest branch of the Quarrymen if he dared tell the entire story.  
Next thing they would all know, Matt Bluestone would be forced to get a warrant to put a tap on the hotline to trace the origins of his calls.

Lex knew Elisa meant well, but sometimes her closeness to the clan made her forget they weren't human and thus had different ways of dealing with problems. It was endearing to find that love really could blind a person but it was also grinding on his last nerve, that such a smart woman could be so careless.  
Thankfully Goliath arrived just then, and sensing the bottled emotions boiling within his small friend, he wordlessly escorted Elisa off towards the elevators. He spared Lexington a brief nod of acknowledgement as he did so, recieving a look of relief in return for his efforts.

As soon as the couple was out of sight, Lex crumpled the card and flung it into a waste basket. If Elisa ever asked him about it, he'd just say he lost it. So long as he didn't mention he had done so on purpose, it wouldn't exactly be lying.  
'Right Lexington,' he sighed and felt his shoulders slump like a weight was settling onto them 'just keep telling yourself that.'

His instinctual clock told him it was almost dawn. Mere moments later an anouncement flashed across his vision, electronically telling him the same thing. He cringed. Part of him wanted to ask Xanatos to have the useless feature removed from his programming (and wasn't that a disturbing turn of phrase in of itself?) and the other part didn't want to give the still potentially dangerous billionaire any excuse to go literally shifting through his head. It was just one more thing he had resigned himself to.  
As he stepped into the hallway he came across Hudson, Fu-dog and Bronx also making their way to the turrets. To his further dismay, they stopped to wait for him, the elder smiling kindly and the beasts whining in both concern and affection. Lexington managed a weak smile of his own and absentmindedly patted the clan's two pets.

"Here now lad," Hudson placed his rough hand on Lex's back as the climbed the stairs to the outside "Any better tonight?"

He wasn't sure which needled him more, the fact that everyone kept hinting that he should've adjusted to his new body and status as a widower so quickly, or that everyone kept asking for an update. And why did everyone keep touching him?!

"Bout the same. Thanks for asking." he said quietly instead.

"At least he lives on in your memories lad." Hudson soothed "You know what the humans say, better to have loved and lost then nay to have loved at t'all." 

Lex knew he should accept the old warrior's attempt at counseling his loss but Hudson had lost his own mate so long ago, even if one subtracted the thousand year nap they had all taken, and that was after a lifetime and three eggs together. Amp had been the Gargoyle equivalent of a twenty year old, far too young to be gone, and Lex at the same age had too many years left to him to spend them alone. In essence, Hudson didn't know what he was talking about, their situations were more dissimilar than not and the generic platitudes only served to have Lexington gritting his teeth to keep his growing temper in check.

"Hudson-sama is right Lexington-san." Katana joined in as they reached their destination. She ether was used to ignoring her own mate's efforts to rein in her forceful personality, or she honestly didn't see Brooklyn subtly making a slashing gesture beside her. "Amp-san died with honor, supporting your actions and defending you in battle. You must be very proud."

There was a slight hint of insinuation in her tone, as if the Japanese female was low-key scolding his on going mood. Lexington tried not to read too much into it, but his mind couldn't help go there, as he took it as her saying 'It's your own fault. Of course he followed you when you deliberately ran into danger, of course he was willing to die for you, didn't he always say he would? Didn't you believe him?'

Thankfully Goliath arrived just then. He took in the situation in a matter of heartbeats and moving to rectify the proverbial powder keg. "While you are indeed correct that honor is of utmost importance, and that we are all proud of Amp's actions that night, I feel we can all agree that honor and pride are of little comfort when faced with the loss of a brother, friend and mate."

Lexington took some small gratification at the Ishimura Gargoyle's expression. Shock immediately followed by shame, you'd think Goliath had slapped her from the way she was reacting. Not giving her a chance to respond, Goliath turned to Lex and gestured "Come, roost with me today. Perhaps a change of view might inspire fresh dreams for you."

The smaller clan mate was grateful for the easy excuse to put some distance between himself and the majority of his family. "Thank you Goliath. I'd like that." he smiled sheepishly, feeling once again like a shy hatchling in the presence of such kindness. Somehow, Goliath always knew what to say, or sometimes more importantly, what not to say to make a moment more bearable. 

The pair climbed the last flight of stairs up to Goliath's perch, but instead of sitting on the edge, their large leader merely unfolded his wings and gazed out at his protectorate, his thoughts his own.

Lexington joined him, only his line of sight was drawn down to the ramparts and settled onto the impressive form of his rookery brother Brooklyn. He took in all the changes his best friend had undergone on his simultaneously brief and long adventure. A slight limp to his left leg, a scar from a laser burn on his right wing strut, his missing left eye. And of course all the invisible emotional scars that manifested as shifts in his behavior. An increase in patience, a tactical alertness he could never fully turn off, and a habit of voicing his appreciation and affection for their small family more often. That last trait sometimes made Lex wonder just how much Brooklyn knew of all their futures. He sometimes acted more nervous than a situation may appear to warrant and would often sigh with relief or be caught whispering to himself "It's over." when things turned out all right.

Lexington frowned, his gaze practically burning a hole into his sibling's back as he came to a grim realization. Brooklyn may have known what was going to happen that night all those weeks ago. He may have known that Lexington couldn't save one more child, but only destroy his own life and happiness. He might've known and said nothing!

The young cyborg hadn't realized he had climbed onto the ledge, subconsciously preparing to launch himself full force at his unsuspecting brother, until Goliath's big hands gently gripped his shoulders and eased him back down to stand beside him.

Lexington looked away in humiliation. He had no idea what conclusions his leader may have drawn from his sudden and odd behavior because Goliath said nothing, his expression was thoughtfully neutral and not judgmental in the slightest. He removed his hands from his friend and instead extended a wing around him, to offer shelter without an invasive touch.

Lex watched as the horizon lightened more and more with each passing second and his relief increased in direct proportion to it. Goliath's knack for doing just the right thing was weakening his resolve to stay strong. He fought to control his breathing, wanting nothing more than to fling himself into his leader's protective embrace and unleash all his unspent tears like a distraught hatchling. But Lex just couldn't allow himself to give into the urge. He was an adult, he could get through this by himself. He had too.

His pain gave way to determination just before the sun peaked and sent the Manhattan clan to it's daily rest. His last waking thought was how he would have words with his brother come sunset. He would have his answers, if nothing else.


	2. Relatively Irritating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexington attempts to corner Brooklyn, to interrogate him on his possibly knowing what was going to happen that horrible night, but the universe keeps preventing his success by putting other well meaning clan mates in his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I choose to call it PTS not PTSD because, in an episode of Criminal Minds, one of the characters mentioned that it's not a disorder because it's not something you're born with but rather a result of a traumatic experience. It's an emotional and mental wound that you have to learn to live with because it's never going away. Hence medical science trying to get people to drop the D.  
> Also Nashville's explanation of it to Alex is very simplistic but please bear in mind, he's basically an eleven year old explaining a difficult and scary situation to a seven year old. He does his best to make it make sense on their developmental levels.  
> If this is in error or offends anyone, I apologize, that was not my intentions.

To utilize a peculiar human phrase, Lexington was angry enough to spit nails. From sunset onward he had tried to get his rookery brother alone, so they could discuss Brooklyn's possible complacency in Amp's death, but it was almost like the powers that be were aware of his intentions and saw fit to deter him at every opportunity.

Yes he understood that Brooklyn was second in command, a father and happily mated adult, but even so, no one was that busy! It seemed rather convenient to Lex, that every time he caught sight of his crimson skinned friend, the white haired warrior suddenly was urgently needed elsewhere.

And to further complicate matters; he had allowed himself, against his better judgment, to be ropped into babysitting.

Nashville, carrying his little sister Tachi, dutifully followed his Uncle Lex around the castle like a duckling, while Alexander had taken hold of Lexington's right hand (the still flesh and blood one) and didn't seem keen on letting go of it unless absolutely necessary.

Normally, this would be a blissful turn of events for the young adult. Ever since puberty, Lexington had shown all the signs of being destined to be a rookery father. He had a natural aptitude when it came to children of any species and enjoyed the responsiblity immensely, that was, before his personal life had nosedived into his own private Hell. Lately he just didn't have the patience required for a Gargoyle fledgling, his hatchling sister and a seven year old half human.

The green skinned cyborg loved his clan's progeny with all his heart, but the innocently insensitive and endless questions children are inclined to ask were wearing thin on him.

"Uncle Lex, do you still turn to stone like the rest of us? Or do you just, sorta, I don't know, power down after sunrise?"

Once upon a time, Lexington would've laughed at his rookery son's choice of words, now he could only manage a good natured smirk. "No Nash. I still turn to stone." He glanced over his shoulder, his view of the half Japanese fledgling partially obscured by the laser mounted on his shoulder. Xanatos and his obsession with obscenely large weapons, psycho.  
"I'm still a Gargoyle as much as you are sweetheart. Your Uncle isn't a walking cell phone all of a sudden." he joked.

Nashville's beak fell open and he blinked in surprise. "Oh no, I never meant, I mean of course, I'm sorry Lex!" he sputtered awkwardly. In his embarrassment he must have accidentally squeezed his sister too tight, Tachi gave a squawk of protest and punched her sibling's chest, scowling like a small red storm cloud.

"Don't hit little one. Your brother didn't mean to hurt you." Lexington soothed his rookery daughter in as soft a tone as his new voice could manage and stroked the tiny female's black hair. She smiled and gazed lovingly up at him with honey brown eyes. Eyes just like her biological father's.

'Damn it Brooklyn.' Lexington thought to himself 'As much as I love you and your kids, you have a lot to answer for if my suspicions are correct. You can't avoid me forever.'

"Lex? Mama says you're in a lot of pain and we should be extra good for you." Alex brought his favorite clan mate back to the present situation by hugging his arm. "Where does it hurt? Maybe my magic can fix what Pop couldn't."

Lexington felt his already large eyes widen in touched surprise. The young half-fae meant well, he just didn't understand that not all forms of pain were physical, or that his magic had limits.

"It's not that simple Alexander. But I appreciate the offer." he said sincerely and carefully returned the ginger haired boy's embrace.

"Miss Amp. When Unca Amp come home?" Tachi suddenly blurted and Nashville shot Lexington a look that was apologetic and apprehensive. The poor boy was a bundle of nerves, acting like his rookery father was a bomb ready to go off at the slightest wrong move.

A bomb...like the one that...

*** *** *** *** *** ***

"This way Amp! I can hear them, they're crying. They sound so afraid."

"I'm right with you, don't worry, we'll find the poor little nippers before..."

But they hadn't.  
Lex had gotten too far ahead of his mate and rounded a corner just in time to take the full brunt of the small but potent blast. Then his world became nothing but blinding light and searing pain, then his beloved's voice, frantically calling his name as he searched the rubble for him. 

Amp had found him, his handsome face awash with at first relief and then overtaken by terror and anguish at the severity of Lexington's injuries.

The British Gargoyle had said something then, his normally strong voice trembling, and at the time it hadn't registered but Lexington remembered now...

"Lex! Oh my love... no! Don't try to move, I'll get you out of here. Just hang on dearest."

The half dozen Quarrymen materialized from the smoke choking the air. Quickly, with practiced efficacy, they closed in with hammers charged.

"Amp...no..." he had tried to warn him, by God and the Dragon both, he had tried.

"Easy love, don't fret so. I'll get you out of here. The dawn will heal you, don't try to talk." he rambled on, tears running down his face silently as he caressed his mate's face.  
At the last moment, Amp's fur stood on end, from all the electricity saturating the air. He had turned around just in time to meet his end face to face...

*** *** *** *** *** ***

"Alex step away from him." Nashville called out to the smaller half-human boy. "He's lost in bad memories right now, he won't know us for ourselves until it's over." He gently but firmly yanked his rookery brother away from the ailing adult who was currently curled in on himself, his mechanical tail tucked close around his bent legs and his wings wrapped around himself as though to block out the world.

"He's hurt." Alex sobbed reaching out towards the person he loved best "I can fix it, let me go, I can help him."

"No you can't little brother." Nash had seen this sort of thing before, while Timedancing with his biological parents. PTS.  
"It's like having a nightmare while you're awake. We can't help him until it's over." He hugged both his younger siblings to him, shielding them with his small wings. "Some wounds only time can heal. That's what Goliath told me. We just need to be patient." 

Soon the fog of memory lifted and the corridor came back into focus. Lexington willed his heart to slow it's frantic pace and his breathing to even out. His gaze came to rest on his charges, huddled together a reasonably safe distance from him, clinging to each other with fear etched all over their little faces. 

Thankfully it was fear for him, he realized, not of him. Lexington silently thanked the universe for small blessings, he didn't think he could take it had it been the latter, that would be the final nail in his proverbial coffin.

"Alex, sweetheart," Lex beckoned the boy closer. He felt so drained, like he had gone ten rounds with Lord Oberon himself. The red headed child rushed to his waiting arms, eager to be of help. "Go find Angela for me. I don't feel up to hanging out anymore tonight, ok?" 

Alexander nodded vigorously and dematerialized in a whisp of purple smoke and sparkles, to find his rookery mother all the quicker.

Making sure Lex saw clearly what he was doing, Nashville approached him next. "Uncle Lex? Dad taught me something that may help you come out of this. Wanna try it?"

"Sure Nash. Worth a shot." but he agreed more for the boy's sake than his own. This would help keep the child occupied until Angela could arrive and relieve him of his duties for the rest of the night.

"Ok, it may seem silly at first, but I promise I've seen this work." the light blue youth had stopped just out of arms reach, wanting desperately to aid his loved one but also sensible enough to not risk his own or his little sister's safety around a possibly volatile adult, especially one in posession of super strong cybernetic limbs and lasers.

"Name five things you can see." the boy instructed.

This wasn't going to be as easy as he first assumed, the corridor was sparse in furnishings and devoid of windows. "Uh... a wooden end table, the electric lights. A really bad oil painting." at least this got a quite chuckle from his rookery children. Lex smiled faintly and impishly added "The world's smartest, most beautiful and overall best hatchlings." 

Tachi giggled happily and Nashville rolled his eyes in embarrassment but smiled none the less. "That's four. One more Uncle Lex."

"You two don't count as separate? Alright. The stones of this old home of ours." Lexington leaned against the aforementioned stones of the wall. They were warmer than they had been back in ancient Scotland, when he had been Nashville's age, but they were still a little chilled. He found it soothing.

Nash continued "Ok. Next name four things you can hear."

Lex closed his eyes and concentrated. "My heart. The heater running, Tachi's tail tapping against your side as she swishes it," he paused and looked to his rookery son with a question "Can my own voice count as my last one?" 

"Definitely." Nashville nodded "No reason it shouldn't."

Little Tachi nodded as well. She didn't really understand what was going on but she didn't want to be left out. 

Putting her down onto the woven throw rug, her brother posed the third sense "Now name three things you can smell."

"The vase of carnations on the table. The sage and mint shampoo your mother uses on Tachi's hair," he took a deep breath to find the last one "Garlic from the kitchen down the hall. Broadway must be making something Italian for supper." 

"Good! We're almost done Uncle Lex. Now name two things you remember tasting recently." Nash's smile was getting bigger with each success.

"My coffee when we woke up." Amp had always teased him about how he took his coffee. Cream and way too much sugar. The British Gargoyle preferred his black and terribly strong. 

Shoving aside thoughts of his mate, least they trigger another panic attack, Lex fought hard to think of a second thing he had tasted tonight. Usually the one cup of coffee was all he'd bother with until supper, he had never been a big eater. It had driven his own rookery parents a little crazy with concern and they blamed his small stature on it. But he had always been very healthy and energetic, so they had never pressed the issue. Ever since the accident and all his artificial replacements, he ate even less.

"Uh, the chocolate Fox shared with us before she and Xanatos went out tonight." He finally remembered. They had tasted horrible for something so expensive. Fox had explained it had to do with a higher cocoa ratio but Lex had thought that the common cheaper brands were easily superior. A big price tag didn't equal quality in his opinion.

"I wouldn't call that legit chocolate, but ok." Nashville snorted and Tachi pulled a face at the unpleasant memory from mere hours ago, causing Lexington to laugh in earnest.

"What's the last step Nash?" he asked.

"Name one thing you can touch." came the answer.

Noticing Angela approaching from down the hall, carrying Alex who was a bit tired out by his magically fueled search for her, Lexington pulled Nashville and Tachi close for a hug. He nuzzled their hair as the children returned the embrace happily. "Can this count Nash?"

"You bet it does Uncle Lex." The boy sounded so relieved to think he could help his rookery father. Maybe tonight was only half bad, maybe.

"Nashville, could you do me a favor and take your siblings to the library? I'll be along in a moment and we'll take turns reading to each other." Angela smiled.

All three youngsters perked up at this suggestion and Nashville eagerly asked "Can we continue with the Chronicles of Prydain? Please?"

"Of course. I'm anxious myself, to see what happens next to Taran and his friends." She handed Alex down to his feet and watched as the new trio of castle Wyvern walked down the corridor and went to wait for her in the library a short distance away. Her gaze turned to deep worry as it fell upon Lexington. He tried to ignore it.

"You'd think, with the lives we live, they'd be sick of magic and endless battles." he jibbed, in the hopes of way laying the inevitable well meant interrogation. No such luck.

With Goliath and Demona as her biological parents, Angela could be stubbornness personified. Once the human raised female got a notion into her pretty head, no force known to Gargoyle, Humanity, nor Fae could stop her relentless pursuit of it.

"Angela, please." Lex clenched his eyes shut and turned away from his clan sister "Don't. Not tonight." 

"If not tonight then when?" She shook her head, exasperated with his behavior. "Lexington, you seem to be getting worse as time goes by, not better."

"Oh? And how exactly does one get over all this?" he finally allowed himself to snap a little and gestured from his head down to his feet. She deserved it, he tried to tell himself, Angela needed to learn to respect the boundaries other people set.

Her features became very calm and she folded her arms across her chest, becoming more her father's daughter with every little subconscious inherited gesture she displayed. "That's only part of your problem." 

"No, no Angie," he growled and noted with satisfaction the slightest twitch of her brow at the use of her hated nic-name "you don't get to go there. You have no idea," he fought to control his volume. The kids were still nearby and the library's doors were wide open. "You have no idea." He repeated in a whisper and turned to walk away "Be grateful for that."

Sure, he was being harsh with her, and he could count on a visit from Broadway or Goliath sometime later tonight. Angela would go to ether or both of them with news of his disturbing shift in attitude and, though neither his big hearted brother or their leader would be angry with him, they would definitely have concerns of their own to voice.

He didn't want to deal with this right now. His night had made a complete u-turn right back to shitty.

"Where are you going?" she reached for him but stopped short of actually touching his shoulder. Perhaps Angela could take a hint after all.

"I won't leave the castle, I promise." He sighed, not caring that his frustration was showing. No one had been ordered to monitor him at all times, Goliath would never invade someone's privacy like that. No, the others had come to a sort of silent agreement amongst themselves, without their leader's knowledge or concent, that Lex needed supervision, especially if he left their home.

This little incident wasn't going to help make his family back off anytime soon ether, damn his luck. "I just need some fresh air." 

He pinched the bridge of his nose with his still organic right hand and squeezed his eyes shut. He was immediately assaulted by a message from his central processor asking if he wanted to run a systems diagnostic check. He vehemently optioned no.

"I saw Coldstone and Coldfire, on the western wall earlier, if you want company." The lavender lass offered.

Lexington considered dismissing her suggestion just to be spiteful, but realized she'd probably check with his fellow cyborg and his android mate later to see if they had seen him. It would be more trouble than the effort would justify.

"Thanks." He was getting very good at those fake smiles. "I'll go see if they're still there."

Satisfied, she passed him to join the little ones in the library.

"Angela?" he called after her impulsively. She turned with an inquisitive look and he glanced away, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm... I'm sorry for calling you Angie. I was out of line."

She smiled softly and leaned down to kiss his cheek. Her concern abated for a moment, she left him, trusting that he would do as he promised and join Coldfire and Coldstone on the ramparts.

Lex's shoulders slumped and he shook his head 'I might as well give up on trying to have that heart to heart with Brooklyn tonight.' he groused to himself as he slowly made his way outside. His lack of enthusiasm was in direct proportion to his frustration mere hours ago. He had lost his steam, and had to admit, it was probably for the best. One less incident to add to an already too long list of strikes against him.

Besides, he had an important question for Coldstone and Coldfire. It was going to be heavy and awkward, but they were the only ones who could give him a reliable answer.

"Good evening Bright Eyes." Coldfire smiled at him as he approached the couple. She had always had a soft spot for him back in their original time period. As a rookery mother she wasn't supposed to play favorites, but him being a runt, and his nature of being the cuddly sort of hatchling, had that effect on all the adults back then.

"My love, the lad has obviously out grown rookery nic-names." Coldstone gently scolded her.

"It's okay. I really don't mind." And he didn't, for the first time in far too long, Lexington meant that over used sentence. "Sorry for interrupting your peaceful night. I have a question if you two don't mind sparing me a few moments." He hated how meek he sounded.

The once handsome, now almost horrific looking big male made a welcoming gesture and simply said, in a kind tone of voice "Ask little brother."

Lex swallowed nervously, took a deep breath, and just went for it. "What happened after you died? Do you remember anything? Anything at all before Demona and Xanatos revived you?"

His question was met with twin blank faces of shock. They stared at him a moment then looked to each other and held hands, their tails intertwining. They looked dismayed.

Lex hated the idea of making his elder clans men revisit such unpleasant memories but he just had to know. Obviously death wasn't the terrible end-to-all-things humans feared it to be, otherwise Coldstone, Coldfire and their wicked rookery brother Coldsteel would not be around.

If Amp was still reachable, if he still existed in some way, perhaps they could find a way to communicate. The young tech savant could apologize, say a proper farewell, say 'I love you' one more time before having to wait goodness only knew how many years before they could be reunited properly. Or maybe...not so long...

'No!' Lex snapped at himself silently 'No I can't think that way.' Images of Alex, Nash and Tachi flashed through his mind's eye. Like a private flock of Guardian Angels trying to protect him from his own weakness. Besides, Amp would never forgive him if he leapt off the Eerie Building and conveniently forgot to open his wings...

"Bright Eyes?" 

Lex started in surprise. Coldfire had approached him while he was lost in thought and placed one of her metal hands on his metal encased shoulder. She smelt faintly of gasoline, once upon a time she had smelt of heather, her favorite flower. 

He was vaguely aware of the passing thought whether or not they were still her favorites or if she ever thought of such things at all anymore. The possibility of this living death she found herself trapped in having robbed her of such simple pleasures, saddened him.

"Sorry. I've been having trouble focusing lately." He smiled weakly, grateful for this small truth. He never could bring himself to lie to her.

"Have you run a diagnostic check?" Coldstone's tone hinted that, although he had no idea what this phrase truly meant, he did understand it cured several ailments their new and horribly wonderous bodies may contract.

Lexington's smile grew in fondness for his elder's sympathy for his condition. No one else in all the world could come anywhere near to comprehending what he was going through. He only envied Coldstone his mate by his side, seeing him through it all. Which reminded him, he still needed that answer.

"I'm afraid that wouldn't help. My problem is emotional, not my programming." he explained politely. "Actually, that ties into why I asked you such a personal question."

"We do not know the exact methods Xanatos and our rookery sister utilized to revive us." Coldstone hastily replied, catching on to Lex's motivation but misunderstanding his goal. 

"It would be unwise to try and resurrect your mate without knowing the proper spells." Coldfire continued pushing their point before Lexington could correct her lover. "Demona has become," she frowned with distaste "unscrupulous. There is no telling what heinous price must be paid for such dark conjuring." She wrapped her arms about his narrow shoulders, unable to fight her maternal instincts even on the other side of death.

"Beside the point " Coldstone scowled "would you truly wish to subject your beloved to a life like this?" He gestured first to himself, then his mate, then the smaller male.

"Please understand," Lex clasped Coldfire's wrists in his hands where they lay across his chest, and looked them both in the eye in turn. "That was never my intention."

"Perhaps not at first." Coldstone gently accused and put his big hand on Lex's arm. "But can you deny the temptation of it?"

"I just wanted to know if there was a chance of reaching him. I want to apologize!" The smaller cyborg blinked back tears and focused on breathing slowly. 

He would not cry, he would not, he would NOT. He couldn't have survived an explosion, and the loss of the love of his life, only to die of humiliation in front of his elders now.

"Oh Bright Eyes." Coldfire coed sorrowfully and nuzzled the top of his head. "You have nothing to be sorry for." 

"He was your mate." Coldstone shrugged "It was his privilege and right to die for you in battle. You needn't disturb his rest to know that." He stated this as though it was the most obvious and natural thing in the world, and perhaps to him, it was.

"I'm the one who rushed into danger, knowing full well he'd follow me." Lex snapped and pulled away from his rookery mother's protective embrace. "Please," he pleaded, sounding as though he were in agony "just answer my question. Don't make me beg." Even though that was exactly what he was doing.  
His heart was racing again. He really didn't want to have another panic attack, he still felt ill from the last one.

There were several long moments of silence and Lexington got the impression that the couple were doing that thing, where people who had been mates a long time, communicated silently with just looks. He had never understood how lovers did that, until he and Amp had started doing it involuntary.

Oddly he had felt a strong sense of accomplishment when he realized what had developed between them. Like their relationship was a video game and they had reached a new level together.

He had made the small mistake of telling his brothers exactly that. Brooklyn had laughed and Broadway had rolled his eyes and joked "Ah, when nerds fall in love."  
Both had received a half meant punch to the arm for their reactions.

"Lexington." Coldstone's voice was barely above a whisper and he seemed unable to look his younger clan's man in the eye as Lex turned around to face him. 

Coldfire took her mate's hand to lend him support and a sense of dread was growing in the green Gargoyle's stomach.

"We do not remember anything after falling asleep before our deaths." The taller male confessed, the regret painfully evident in his body language and tone of voice. He knew this was the last thing their rookery son wanted to hear.

"Nothing?" Lex whispered "Nothing at all? Not even a sense of peace or comfort at least?" He felt as though he had been doused in ice water.

The priests of Prince Malcolm's court had tried to convert the clan to Christianity, with results varying from individual to individual. It was hard to believe in any God, who's followers would have you believe you were damned just for not being human, yet he made you that way on purpose?  
It was confusing and frightening to hatchlings who's elders would have them believe they were inherently good, brave, kind and above all else honorable. That's what it was to be a Gargoyle after all, so why would the creator deny them the final reward for looking like they did?

But still, the old deep seeded fears remained. The thought of his mate, one who's worth was beyond reproach, being condemned to oblivion twice over, for the supposed human sins of a demonic appearance and loving a fellow male. It was almost worse than the notion of Hell.

"We are sorry Bright Eyes," Coldfire shook her head helplessly "I sometime wonder if, perhaps, our not remembering is an act of mercy. For who could bare this world and it's various shades of evil, having known Paradise?"

It made sense. Or maybe Lexington simply wanted it to make sense because the alternative was too much to bare.

He swallowed hard, took a deep calming breath and asked a different question. One he would pursue with renewed vitality.  
"Have ether of you seen Brooklyn tonight? In light of what you have told me, I really need to talk to him." 

Thankfully they mistook his quiet desperation for barely contained grief. They would've never told him where to find his brother had they suspected he sought confirmation of a possible betrayal of trust, rather than the comfort of a life long friend.

With his last scrap of hope shattered, the Timedancer had a lot of explaining to do, Lex felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope Lexington doesn't come across as too harsh, he's going through a lot of crap at this point but I promise his reaction to events, and the efforts of others towards him, will improve in the last two chapters. I wanted to illustrate that, sometimes we think we're helping but we really aren't, so much as we're going through the motions as it were. Letting social stereotypes dictate how we respond to a loved one in dire straits or forcing our opinions and timetables on them on how quickly they should be recovering.  
> And sometimes when we're the victim of life's unfortunate events, we keep too much to ourselves, having been conditioned to believe seeking help is a sign of weakness and being a burden on others, when we really should affirm our feelings and make our needs known to others.


	3. Aftershock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexington finally gets that talk with Brooklyn, Broadway brings up a touchy subject and the London clan breaks records in insensitivity and stubbornness.  
> Oh, and Goliath actually admits Xanatos is right about something. Mark this date on your calendar folks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I borrowed a scene from the fan made series The Gargoyles Saga, which was a very well written continuation of the original series based off of Mr. Greg Weisman's plans for the series.  
> That scene from that chapter of Timedancer always stuck with me, really made an impression on me as a kid, so I mentioned it here.  
> I also mention the Gargoyles World Council, an invention of TGS too.  
> I highly recommend all of the TGS series, very satisfying read.

Brooklyn was in the television room, watching the first concert of a metal band Lexington had heard him mention before. He thought how odd it must be for him, to miss things that technically didn't exist yet. He remembered his brother had joked that Timedancing had been a trip in more ways than one.

"Are they as good as they're going to be someday?" Lex asked nonchalantly and was slightly maliciously pleased to see the taller male jump in his seat.

"Lex! I, uh, I didn't hear you come in." quickly Brooklyn turned off the television and stood, but the cyborg had shut the door behind him when he snuck into the small room and now stood blocking the only way out with his arms crossed over his chest. The clan's second in command wasn't escaping this time, he was properly trapped.

"We need to talk Brooklyn." his tone broke no arguments and his life long friend sighed with resignation.

Brooklyn lowered himself back into Hudson's favorite recliner and slumped over, his arms resting on his knees, eyes closed. When he opened them he said "No."

Lexington felt his anger erupt out of him like a volcano. The phrase 'blinded by rage' was literal for Gargoyles, as it took a moment for their eyes to adjust when they illuminated. "There is no way in Hell I'm letting you chicken out on me again! You're not leaving this room until I get an answer Brook!"

The Timedancer shook his head, causing his white mane to sway across his back. "You misunderstand me Lex. I just gave you you're answer. No, I didn't know Amp was going to die that night."

He said this with such sorrow and regret, Lexington was shocked to realize that he believed him instantly. Brooklyn obviously wished, with every fiber of his being, that he had known so he could've at least tried to prevent it.

Lex felt light headed as the sudden burst of adrenaline wore off, he swayed on his feet and clasped the back of the recliner to steady himself. 

Brooklyn quickly stood and guided his brother to the couch, kneeling in front of him, concern and guilt warring for possession of his handsome but world weary face.  
Allowing the smaller male a few moments to recover from his head rush, the Timedancer looked away, at the wall, the floor, his own tail, anywhere but at his friend.

"There's something else you're not telling me." Lexington sounded more disappointed than mad at this point, he had an idea what it was being left unsaid. "You could have known. You avoided the opportunity."  
It was stated as a fact, not an accusation. Lexington decided that coming on so aggressively like he had could've backfired spectacularly. Maybe a gentler approach was needed to coax out his answers.

"I..." Brooklyn started, stopped, sighed again and than sat on the other end of the couch. Near but still avoiding eye contact.

Lex decided to give him a few minutes to organize his thoughts. Clearly he wasn't the only one suffering from a case of soul crippling guilt. It was rough seeing Brooklyn like this. He had been so vital, so happy when the spell had first been broken. 

Sure he had been prone to mood swings and sarcasm, but he had been in his late teens, they had all been like that back then, even Angela. Now, at the Gargoyle equivalent of forty, the crimson skinned warrior seemed so tired. Lexington wondered if his brother remembered what it was like to smile without reservation. Too many ghosts haunted the Timedancer, and now Amp was one of them.

"I owe you a very creepy apology Lex." Brooklyn huffed a quiet laugh and rested his hand over his eyes. He finally looked his green clansmen in the eye, and met the curious look he was pinned with with an equally strange explanation. "I sat on your grave."

Lex blinked in mild confusion "You what?"

"Not on purpose. It was when the Phoenix Gate dropped me in the year twenty-one ninety-eight, I landed on your grave. Freaked me out something fierce. I automatically read 'Lexington of Wyvern Scotland, Founding member of the Manhattan clan, beloved brother, rookery father, and mate'. Thankfully I stopped myself from reading your date of death. I did not want that emotional baggage on my shoulders." he shuddered.

They sat in silence, adjusting to this revelation between them. Lex gave a short laugh of his own. "Sounds like one of those made for TV films we used to watch on the Sci-Fi channel."

"Yeah." Brook chuckled softly.

"What does this have to do with you possibly knowing when Amp would die?" Lexington frowned. "And why did I have a grave at all? That's a human custom. What's left of my original body should've been cremated and scattered in a Wind Ceremony." Heaven only knew what would someday be done with his cybernetic parts. The thought of pieces of his body remaining, possibly being recycled somehow, after he died, that was uncomfortable on so many levels.

"I'm pretty sure it was just a memorial stone." Brooklyn shrugged, clearly as much ill at ease as his brother was. "I mean, I never thought to ask..." the Timedancer stopped himself suddenly. Another new habit, as he often had to keep from accidentally revealing names of relatives yet to be hatch.

Though how something one hundred and ninety-six years in the future could be harmed by a single name being spoken was beyond Lex.

"As for how this has anything to do with loosing Amp," Brooklyn redirected himself from his own digression "remember, I said your stone also said 'beloved mate'. Usually humans put people's memorial stones next to their spouses. I since came to assume Amp's must've been next to yours. I don't know for certain, I hightailed it out of the graveyard without looking at any of the other stones." He frowned "Come to think of it, I could have had a memorial in there somewhere. Katana and our children too."

They're eyes met and they both cringed. Brooklyn turned away and squeezed Lexington's hand. It was meant to comfort them both but since it was his mechanical left hand, Lex couldn't feel it in the conventional sense. He carefully squeezed back nevertheless.

"This is why Gargoyles don't abide by such morbid traditions." The green male said and leaned back on the couch, looking up at the ceiling "Creepy as fuck." he muttered.

"I think they're afraid of being forgotten." Brooklyn's voice sounded so different with the weight of too much experience keeping it low and somber.

"You were my first crush." Lexington's eyes went wide as he realized what he had just done. He quickly leaned forward, hiding his face in his hands. "Crap! Why did I say that?"

"It's okay." Brooklyn put a hand on his rookery brother's back "Really Lex, I'm, well, I'm flattered." he smiled, it was awkward but sincere.

They fell silent again and eventually Lex put his hands down, but he remained slumped over, staring at the floor. "God I miss him." he whispered.

"Believe me brother, I'd give my remaining eye if it meant being able to time dance just once more and save him." the red warrior leaned in for a sideways hug and pressed their foreheads together.

"Don't say that Brook." Lex sighed "I never want you to have to endure anything like that again and neither would Amp."

They looked up as the door opened and Goliath stepped in. He nodded to Brooklyn then addressed Lexington. "The London clan has contacted us through a... video chat? They specifically wish to speak with you."

"We haven't heard from them since we notified them of Amp's death." Brooklyn raised an eye ridge quizzically and Goliath spread his hands. He didn't know what to expect ether.

"Well, theres one way to find out what this is about." Lex got up slowly and the two rookery siblings followed their leader to Xanatos office.

There on the wide screen was Sir Griff, Una and Old Pog. The elder was seated with his claws folded on the head of his walking stick, his feathered wings capped and flanked by the knight and the sorceress.  
Lexington wasn't sure if the Leader of the London clan was in a sour mood or if it was simply his eagle-like visage that always made him look so grim.

"Hello lads." Griff nodded in greeting, apparently the appointed spokesperson for their side of this meeting, probably due to his long history with the Manhattan clan. "Afraid we'll have to keep this brief. Dawn's in an hour here, what with the time differentials and all."

"How may we be of service old friend?" Goliath asked.

"This is in regards to Staghart's Wind Ceremony." The handsome war veteran seemed uncomfortable for some reason. He glanced at Old Pog, who remained silent and still.

"How many of your clan wish to attend?" Xanatos asked. Since he would be the one providing the overseas transportation, he'd need such details.

"That's the thing actually." Sir Griff grimaced "We won't be coming to you, as Staghart's birth clan... oh bollocks. There's no gentle way to put this." He sighed, clearly frustrated by being forced to play the middle man. He addressed Lexington directly "I'm sorry old chap, but... you're expected to bring Staghart's ashes home to Knight's Spur for the ceremony." 

"The lad belongs here," Pog's strong voice, which never failed to remind people of Sir Patrick Stewart, felt like a force of nature to the surprised Americans. "Staghart shall be put to rest upon the same wind as his ancestors. He should be with his family."

Before Lexington could overcome his shock and form any kind of response, Brooklyn spoke up in his defense. "With all due respect honored elder," his tone was stern "We are Amp's family."

Lex appreciated the use of his mate's preferred name. Amp had hated being called Staghart, he had found it redundant and obvious.  
"Amp choose my brother for his mate, choose to live here with our clan, and to help raise our hatchlings as his own. We are his family by his own decision." Brooklyn had repeated 'we are his family' verminantly, and Goliath crossed his arms stepping closer to Lexington and scowling at the English Gargoyles on the screen. Even Xanatos was frowning in disapproval of Old Pog's insinuations.

"And young Staghart also took on the responsibility of battling your enemies. Foes of your own creation by the actions of Goliath's former mate and second in command." Pog's piercing black eyes focused on Lexington for the first time in the entire conversation. "Poor decision making seems to be a trait of your bloodline. I have been made privy to the specifics of our clansman's death." He glared at Lex pointedly.

"Amp was an adult and experienced warrior of high caliber and excellent sense." Goliath just barely kept his growing temper in check. "He gave his life trying to rescue innocent children, who's only connection to our plight was parents who would be allies to all Gargoyles and were raising them to be the same."

"And I would think, even one as ancient as yourself, still has good enough eyesight to see poor Lexington paid a heavy price himself that night." Xanatos surprised everyone by adding his opinion to the discussion. The elder's attitude was wearing thin on his nerves.

"Aiding children is all well and good," Una gently interrupted before Old Pog could chastise the human for sassing him "but logically speaking, Gargoyle lives should take president if we are to survive as a race. Let's get back on topic."  
The beautiful female held up her hands to hault the barrage of retorts no doubt ready to erupt from the Manhattan clan members. "Staghart's decisions were his to make and we, his birth clan, honored that in life. But now we exercise our own rights, as his rookery parents and backed by a ruling of the Gargoyle World Council. The ashes of Staghart of the London clan must be returned to us by the night of October thirty-first for his Wind Ceremony."

"A ruling by the World Council?" Goliath balked "Why was I not notified of this? Our clan helped found the council, why were we excluded from such proceedings? Especially in light of the fact that Amp's mate yet lives and his claim on what is to be done with his lover's remains superceed your own?"

"I think you just answered one of your own questions Goliath." Brooklyn muttered, not caring if the Londoners heard him or not. He grinded his teeth in frustration. It made his beak look disjointed for a moment.

"His name was Amp, not Staghart." Came a quite voice that had yet to speak it's peace until now. Lexington's tone grew in strength with each word and he raised his head to confront his love's birth clan, especially it's leader. "He hated his birth name. Please respect his wishes and refer to him by his chosen name. Just because he's not here to defend himself, does not mean I will allow you to treat my mate like his desires didn't matter when weighed against your own."

"And who's fault is that?" Old Pog's eyes flared white and he brandished his staff to emphasize his accusation. "It was your careless actions that got him killed!"

"Steady on sir!" Griff gasped in shock at this cruel statement. "You go too far." he growled.  
The knight had always liked Amp, thought of him as a protege, and had been considering him for extra training to possibly join King Arthur's new ranks of the Round Table.  
But when love blossomed between the white furred lad and the small genius of the Manhattan clan, Sir Griff let his own aspirations for Amp's future go and threw his full support behind what his young friend had wanted to do with life. He had been one of the few who had, amongst the London clan. Griff had been a proud older brother when Amp had defied the elders wishes and told them to 'Stuff it!' when they tried to order him to stay in England and take a mate from their own number.

Pog waved off Una as she tried to ease him back onto his chair. The elder ignored Griff's outburst and looked Lexington straight in the eye as he made his final proclamation.  
"The council has made it's ruling, you will abide by it and return Staghart's ashes to his true clan by October thirty-first."

Brooklyn growled, unable to hold his temper any longer. "To quote my clan sister, Elisa Maza, I think your head stays rock solid even at night! It's like trying to reason with a brick wall."

"How does the Council's ruling hold any power, when the Manhattan clan was purposefully denied representation in the proceedings that led to it?" Xanatos pointed out, equally frustrated.

"I cannot believe I'm actually saying this," Goliath shook his head "but Xanatos is right." The noble giant refused to look at the macevilian genius in that moment, assured without having to look that the human was insufferably smug to hear such an admission.  
He placed a comforting hand on Lexington's shoulder and solemnly vowed "We will all fight this order, if you so wish it Lexington. Amp was your mate and our brother in arms, we can do no less for either of you."

"Damn straight!" Brooklyn affirmed, side eyeing the Londoners on the monitor screen.

Lexington folded one arm under the other and pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his large eyes shut. He could feel the beginnings of a migraine coming on. After several deep breaths and a moment to think, he gave his conclusion.

"Amp is lost to all of us and nothing will change that. The last thing my love would want, would be to cause distention between the clans of the world." he shook his head sadly and let his arms fall to his sides in defeat. "It doesn't matter where his ashes are scattered, so long as the peace is maintained." 

"I can't help but feel this is exactly the decision they want to force you to make Lex." Xanatos frowned "It's what I would have done."

Brooklyn smirked at the three English Gargoyles "You should be both flattered and insulted by that." he quipped.

"Thanks." The billionaire quirk an eyebrow at him "I think."

"Lexington," Goliath lifted the young Gargoyle's chin "are you certain my friend?"

Nodding solemnly, the cyborg turned back to the screen and drew himself up to his full five feet of height. "I'll escort my mate's ashes personally. Expect me three days before Samhain night."

"You needn't go to all that trouble." Pog huffed, obviously Lexington wasn't truly welcome in the elder's opinion. "The Post could handle the situation to everyone's satisfaction." 

"Not mine!" Lex's eyes flashed briefly and he punctuated his words with a growl "We're talking about the love of my life, not a souvenir from Staton Island!"

"Besides," Xanatos smirked, jumping at the chance to stick it to the old Gargoyle "it's no trouble at all. I am more than adequately prepared to transport the entire Manhattan clan, human members and beasts included, at very little cost to myself and in comfort far exceeding that of any first class airline."

Partially defeated, and with dawn approaching their part of the world, Pog and Una excused themselves to go roost. Only Griff lingered a moment longer to clarify a few things.

"I just want you to know Goliath," the knight offered "that Zafiro of Guatemala, Kai of Ishimura, myself, and of course Gabriel of Avalon, all spoke on behalf of your clan's rights."

He shrugged helplessly "Unfortunately it was left to an anonymous vote of all individuals present, not just the leaders like it normally would have been. The meeting was held at Knight's Spur and my clan out numbers the others by far. Staghart, pardon me," he corrected himself "Amp, was very well loved. They want him home." he smiled, affection and sympathy equal in his eyes as he looked to Lex. "Nevermind that you were his 'home' eh Lex?"

"Your friendship meant the world to him Sir Griff. To us both." Lexington couldn't manage to return the smile but he sounded genuine.

"One good thing about all of this." Brooklyn grumbled "Now the other clans know to be watchful of such manipulations. Politics!" He spat the last word like it left a bad taste in his mouth. 

Xanatos shook his head with an amused look on his suave features. "I'm rather disappointed actually." He smirked after turning off the view screen. "I thought Gargoyles far too noble for such goings on."

"Unfortunately we are but mortals, just as you are David." Goliath sighed, his irritation only partially inspired by this particular human's antics for once. Still, he had to give this uneasy ally his due, Xanatos had been helpful without causing too much chaos for a change. But the night was still only half done, he reminded himself.

"I'm starving." Lexington sighed and was surprised to find the statement true. He had originally uttered it as an excuse to leave the office, but an embarrassingly loud rumble from his trim waist backed him up unintentionally.

"Broadway should be done fixing dinner by now." Brooklyn glanced at a digital clock on Xanatos desk. "Actually, at this point, he's probably wondering where we all are."

Goliath excused himself, having eaten with the others before the call had come in. "However, Broadway indeed saved some for the three of you." he explained "He hopes to spend the meal together, to do some catching up."

"Sounds good to me. You up for it Lex?" Brooklyn smiled and put his arm loosely about his friend's narrow shoulders.

"Yeah, sure." Lexington didn't have the energy to decline the invitation and allowed himself to be steered back to the kitchen in companionable silence. It was only half past eleven PM, which meant roughly four and a half hours before dawn. He was just so tired...

Suddenly he remembered the website he had perused the night prior. Extreme fatigue was a symptom of depression. He was depressed.  
Lexington stopped walking and Brooklyn stopped about three steps later. The handsome warrior turned and looked at his rookery brother with concern.

"Lex?" He knelt down, putting one hand on the smaller male's metal encased shoulder and cupping his face with the other. His honey brown eye filted about, searching his sibling's featured for any sign of what was wrong and what he could do about it. "Come on buddy." Brooklyn said in a tone he normally used when gently scolding the children in a minor mischief "Dont you dare try telling me you're fine. I'm not completely blind yet."

"Now you sound like Hudson." Lex valiantly tried to chuckle "You really are getting old Brook."

"Little shit." The second in command smirked and pulled him close for a hug.

Lexington wanted to return the embrace but even the simple task of lifting his arms seemed like too much effort. So he stood there and allowed himself to be held, hiding his face in his friend's hair, like he used to do when they were hatchlings during particularly bad thunderstorms.

"Been a Hell of a night for you." Brooklyn's voice was like gravel when he whispered. He slackened his grip and let Lexington just lean on him for support. The shorter Gargoyle acted ready to collapse.

"Think Broadway would take it personally if I skipped whatever Italian dish he made? I don't think my stomach could handle anything so rich tonight." The cyborg grimaced.

"I'm sure he'll understand. But you've got to eat something Lex. You can't survive on one cup of coffee every night." Brooklyn admonished him, slipping back into the protective dad voice on instinct.

"How about tea?" Lex quipped and smiled weakly at the glare he received for his effort.

"How about you quit the smart-alec routine and add a bowl of broth and some toast to that menu?" Broadway said from behind them. He had arrived in the hallway in time to get a jist of what was going on. "Come on you two. Brooklyn can fill me in on the details of how that video call went while I get the food warmed up." He turned and led them into the kitchen, they sat at the island while they're light blue brother busied himself at the stove.

"Lex's in-laws are a pack of freakin sweethearts." Brooklyn snarled, some of the recent frustration flaring up again.

Broadway quirk an eye ridge and huffed a laugh at their brother's passionate outburst. "Sounds like I missed quite the incident, though I'd like a few more facts than that bro."

Lexington zoned out and rested his head on his folded arms, concentrating on his breathing and the sound of his own heartbeat. He ignored Brooklyn's emotional recap of the verbal battle with the London clan's elders, though he did catch a very colorful suggestion as to Old Pog's parentage.

He simultaneously felt Broadway's big, gentle hand encase his forearm and smelt the bowl of chicken soup that had been placed before him. Dutifully Lex sat up and began eating, noticing the orange ginger tea and simple buttered toasted white bread, that had been chosen to ease his stress induced nausia, sitting by his elbow.

Broadway and Brooklyn tucked in to their Lasagna and salad, the three life long friends each occupied by their own thoughts for the time being. Lexington was grateful for the blessing of friends who knew when peace and quite was more help than all the idle chatter in the world.

After they finished and the dishes were cleared away, Broadway opting to leave them for later prioritizing his brother's dilemma over his usual routine of cleaning up right away, the original trio of Wyvern lingered at the kitchen island.

"Man, it is a good thing we don't live in England." Broadway frowned "I'd be busting heads right now."

"You'd be asleep right now." Lexington, fortified by the meal, managed one of his fake smiles. "Wish I was. I envy humans, being able to nod off whenever they want."

"You do look dead on your feet." The gentle giant patted his hand.

"It's the stress. He wasn't this bad before the call." Brooklyn shook his head. It was an effort to keep from going off on another tangent about all the places the London clan could stick their snobbery.

"Bright side to all this," Broadway shrugged "Samhain is a few weeks away, gives you time to prepare yourself and who knows?" He smiled "You may meet someone while you're there."

"Broadway!" Brooklyn balked and Lexington's already large eyes somehow managed to become wider in surprise.  
"I think it's kind of early for Lex to begin moving on." Their older brother scowled at the clan's chef.

"I'm just saying," Broadway shrugged innocently "if it comes up, I hope he gives it a chance. Amp wouldn't want Lex to be alone for the rest of his life."

Lexington was stunned, he had lost count how many times that had happened tonight and he was getting sick of it.  
He hadn't even thought about the possibility of courting someone else, ever. He had just assumed he would go the traditional route and be alone, as far as romance was concerned, for the rest of his life.

When it came to Gargoyle culture, that's just how Lex was, a traditionalist. The only exception had been choosing a name and, if he was being completely honest with himself, he had only done so because literally the rest of his clan had already. He had also been the only one who asked the others if they liked what he had picked and had been willing to change it if they hadn't liked it.

That was his nature. He liked order and rules and for processes to have a predictable outcome. Thst was probably why he liked technology so much, science was all about the rules and variables adding up.

"I don't know Broadway." Lexington sighed "Amp's a pretty tough act to follow. I don't think I'm up to another relationship."

"Besides," Brooklyn scowled at their large brother "you basically suggested he use his mate's Wind Ceremony to pick up a date!"

"That is not what I meant and you know it Brook!" Broadway growled back at him and slammed a fist onto the kitchen island's top.

"Well maybe, if you thought before you opened your big mouth, I wouldn't have misunderstood you!" Brooklyn stood and leaned over the divide, getting into his face.

"Stop twisting my intentions and I won't be so hard for you to understand!" Broadway stood too, they were practically forehead to forehead now, eyes beginning to flair.

Lexington took the opportunity to slip away, despite the situation reminding him of old times, this wasn't how he liked his nostalgia.  
He had always hated it when his brothers argued, especially if it escalated into a physical fight. He was too small to break it up and he had learnt at an early age that fetching help would only get him bullied later, even now as adults. Between siblings, some things never changed.

Wyvern was large enough that Xanatos could afford to let the couples in the clan have their own rooms, for keeping personal belongings and private time away from the family et all. They had all the comforts of a small apartment with the exception of beds. Gargoyles preferred to be well away from where they roost for matters of intimacy and they certainly didn't need them for sleeping.

Each couple utilized this spare space differently.  
Brooklyn and Katana made theirs into a combination sparing and meditation sanctuary.

Broadway and Angela had their own private library for the books gifted to them or they bought online.

Coldstone was, surprisingly enough, a gifted painter and Coldfire still loved plants, so their entire personal space was equal parts art studio and indoor garden.

Lexington and Amp had made their spare room their 'Nerd Cave' as Broadway had good naturedly dubbed it. A comfortable large couch faced a large screen TV framed by an entertainment center loaded with every gaming console imaginable. A bookshelf covered in tech manuals and limited addition figurines lined another wall and a work table littered with numerous projects in various stages of development took up what usable space was left.

This was where Lexington retreated whenever life became too much to take. He spent nearly all his free time here the last couple of weeks and had beaten every game in their impressive collection (on hard mode) and had finished every project of his own on the work table.

He didn't touch Amp's. There was an unspoken rule between them, they didn't meddle with each other's inventions or programs unless asked to help, and Lex didn't have the heart to finish them anyhow. 

Even though it was easy for him to guess where his mate had been going with each idea, between how well he knew him and his own knowledge of how the technology involved worked, finishing them felt like it made Amp's death final, permanent.

If he just left the clutter where it lay, he could pretend the Londoner was simply off on an errand and would be back any moment. He knew this wasn't healthy, but after everything that had transpired tonight, he just couldn't be made to care.

Denial. That was one of the stages of grief according to the website from the night prior. It had been such a subtle and conscious choice, to play pretend with himself, he hadn't even realized that's what it was.

And the discussion with Coldstone and Coldfire, could that count as the Bargaining stage?

All that left was... Acceptance.

Lexington flopped down on the couch and wrapped himself around the large Dr. Who pillow Coco had gifted Amp the previous Christmas. It had started to loose Amp's scent.

Lex still hadn't let go of it when the sun rose hours later, freezing him in place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lex is coming to terms with his grief, realization is half the battle won.  
> If Lexington's sudden blurted confession of having a crush on Brooklyn when they were kids seems odd to anyone, I've witnessed people do this when emotionally exhausted before. Their guard is down and suddenly they're like "Oh crap, I can't take that back can I.." lol.  
> Also, yes I know Lex didn't figure out his sexuality until his late teens, so the knowledge of his having the crush was obviously in retrospect. At the time he probably just thought it was hero-worship.
> 
> I didn't want the London clan, or any Gargoyles for that matter, to be homophobic because I feel they're more sensible than humans but I did want there to be some tension with the "in-laws", so I went for them being xenophobic.  
> After so many centuries sticking to themselves I thought there might be some resistance from the older generations, letting their youngsters go out and join other clans. Rather the mindset of "All Gargoyles are equal and important...but our clan is the best."
> 
> I feel like I owe Old Pog an apology lol! For all I know the creators of Gargoyles might have planned on him being a wonderful person but I kind of made him an ass.
> 
> I also chose to have the Scottish born Manhattan clan refer to Halloween by it's ancient name of Samhain just because I felt it was cool and seemed like something they might do, seeing how they're from a time when it was more about danger and actual magic then free candy and fun.


	4. Shadow Dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fateful night of Amp's Wind Ceremony finally arrives and Lexington finds himself in an encounter, that he never could have anticipated. A surprising individual presents him with a one time opportunity that he just can't pass up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Individuals who briefly appear including Romulus, the teenage London clan member, and Edith and Addicus who are only mentioned by name, are my creations (just because I needed more named Londoners for a hot second). Please don't use them without permission.

Knight's Spur hadn't changed since last he had visited, the social atmosphere however, was a completely different matter.   
The reactions to his presence ranged from akward shallow pleasantries to flat out hostility. 

It wasn't like he could hide who he was, Lexington was the only member of his small clan who had the kite wing structure, was green, and one of only two cyborgs. So even those individuals who hadn't made his acquaintance before could pick him out with perfect accuracy.

He gave less than a shit about what they all thought, who they blamed or how they treated him, so long as the English clan didn't mistreat his family. 

They had all come along, even Elisa had gotten grievance time off from work. Which human relative who had supposedly died had wisely been left rather vague in her request, but she made sure it was someone who supposedly lived in Nigeria, where her mother's ancestors had hailed from.   
Her father was the only person left in his bloodline and Arizona had been literally too close to home, being in the same country, to make using there comfortable for her. It would be much harder for Internal Affairs to investigate an overseas situation if it ever came to that extreme.

In any event, not all of the London clan acted like he was evil incarnate. Griff was his usual wonderful self, hovering nearby whenever he could manage it, to protect and support his young friend and run interference with the elders and Amp's past boyfriends. 

Of the latter there were... several.   
Some lad's might have been made jealous or angry to find out their mate had courted so many prior to them, but Lexington actually found it made him feel a little smug.   
After all, they were all considerably desirable fellows, smart and handsome with charming personalities, but out of the lot of them Amp had ultimately chosen him, even with the added inconvenience of having to move to America to be with him.

They had all harbored a grudge to varying degrees, resentful of having lost such a catch to a runt of a 'barbarian', from Scotland of all places. And a transplanted Yank at that. 

Little Lunette and her Rookery siblings blatantly defied their elders and had swarmed Lex when the Manhattan clan had first arrived. The dozen or so fledglings had made sympathy cards and little craft gifts for him, these were now stored safely on the VTOL aircraft Xanatos had utilized to fairy them across the Atlantic in comfort.

One very important person had been conspicuously absent during the three nights of preparation, Coco.   
As Amp's best friend and favorite Rookery sibling, her elusiveness bothered Lex to no end. Part of him was terrified that the brazen and lovely female hated him now, and wanted to confirm or debunk this theory. The other part of him prayed he managed, somehow, to make it through this ordeal without having to find out.

Next to himself, Coco had meant the most to Amp out of everyone he loved. She had to be going through her own emotional odyssey right now. He wanted to be there for her, to be scooped up in one of her famous bear hugs and just hang onto each other.  
Lexington also wanted to dissapear completely at the very thought of looking into her hazel eyes and trying to explain his role in loosing their beloved companion.

Luckily Knight's Spur was huge, and their goals seemed to be in in sync, so avoiding each other hadn't been hard until now. With the ceremony looming just a few hours away, Lexington could only hope for a heartwarming reunion.

He had told Goliath and Griff he needed a few moments alone and went into the woods surrounding the mansion home of the London clan. He avoided the well trodden paths and just wandered. Likewise he didn't head to any of the secret places, Amp and Coco had shared with him, back before the two males had begun courting. 

Lex had spent the summers in England just because he liked them as friends and was feeling a little left behind by his own Rookery siblings at the time. 

Eventually he had noticed Coco had been spending less and less time with them but she had done so in such a natural way that neither of them had been offended. She had simply recognized their growing interest in each other for what it was and considerately given them the space to discover it for themselves.

"Little lad lost, both in thought and the woods, how quaint." taunted a familiar, rich, female voice from behind him.

"Demona!" Lex gasped as he whirled around to face her, eyes flaring.

"Easy. I am unarmed. I just want to talk." the beautiful immortal put up her hands and raised her wings to prove her statement.

"Yeah sure." Lexington scoffed, dropping into a crouch to be ready in case the old foe suddenly pounced. "That's what you told Brooklyn in ninety-four, and look how that turned out."

"Tonight is the night of your mate's Wind Ceremony. What are you doing out here all by yourself?" She asked in a conversational tone, capping her wings and folding her arms as she leaned against a tree.

"That's none of your business. What are you doing here anyway? And how do you know about Amp's ceremony?" His eyes had ceased glowing and he mimicked her her stance by crossing his arms, but his tone was far from friendly and his guard was still completely up.

Demona shrugged "I had business for Nightstone here in England, it conveniently coincided with the date the elders had chosen. As for your second question," she hesitated "suffice it to say I heard it from a reliable source."

"Angela told you." His eyes flared again and his mechanical tail lashed out behind him, cracking a large boulder in two.

The red head gave a low whistle of appreciation. "That's quite the impressive upgrade Lexington." Obviously she wanted to distract him, from his anger at her daughter having taken liberties with his personal information.

"Nice try, but believe me, Angela and I will be discussing this later. Now answer my first question the way I meant it. Not, what are you doing in England, but what are you doing here, at Knight's Spur? How did you get passed the London clan's patrols? And don't you dare say you have your ways. I'm sick of your emotional mind games." He powered up his shoulder lasers to show he was in no mood for her usual bullshit. The popular human phrase 'Not tonight Satan' comically flashed through his mind but did nothing to improve his mood. 

"Fine." She said and somehow managed to pack several emotions all into one syllable. Irritation at his impatience, respect for his show of force, and sympathy for his loss. If there were two emotions Demona was well acquainted with, it was rage and grief. "I was being honest when I said I'd come unarmed, but that doesn't mean I've come empty handed." 

Lexington raised an eye-ridge and tilted his head to more effectively glare at her, but otherwise didn't move a muscle.

Demona slowly and deliberately bent down and picked up a small velvet pull string pouch, from amongst the roots of the tree she had been leaning on. As she stood, she removed a perfect crystal ball, almost as big as a tennis ball, and held it out to him.

The young cyborg was suddenly reminded of his mate's favorite movie but sincerely doubted Demona was going to suddenly start juggling the bauble.

"If you're waiting for me to break out in song, I'm afraid I left my goblins at home." The sorceress smirked and tossed him the orb, which he instinctively caught, much to his disappointment in himself. That could've ended badly for him.

His surprise at her knowing of the classic film must've shown on his face, for she hummed a quite laugh, momentarily reminding him of the person she had once been. Wise, protective, devoted to her clan. Lex forced himself to abandon that train of thought, it hurt too much in contrast of the reality standing before him.

"So what am I supposed to do with this?" He huffed, holding up the gift in his mechanical hand. For all intents and purposes, it looked like an ordinary glass ball. Pretty, but pointless.

"I assume the elders of this clan chose Samhain with thought to ease your mate's passage into the spirit realm." Demona failed in her effort to keep from rolling her green eyes, but at least she managed to refrain from calling them fools, like some over dramatic Disney villain.   
"You've always been clever Lexington. I'm sure you realize that an individual's life force, unless hindered by magic, moves on to whatever fate awaits us all immediately upon death. The Wind Ceremony is more for the benefit of those grieving and a respectable way to deal with the loved one's remains. The night upon which it is held makes no difference, mystically speaking."

"I'm following you so far." He said, wary of her intentions but curious despite the danger.

"Their choice still works to your benefit." She took a chance and dared to step closer. Gently she tapped the delicate trinket with an elegant claw. "Before the night is done, break the crystal and your mate's spirit will be summoned, so that you may communicate with him one last time. After an hour the spell will fade and your beloved will return to his eternal rest."

Lexington couldn't believe his ears. It was too impossible for his logical mind to accept just like that. He knew magic could manage things science couldn't, that wasn't what he found hard to grasp, it was the fact that one of his clan's worst enemies was presenting him with the exact opportunity he had been craving. 

His entire life's story was one long list of examples as to why he shouldn't trust this sudden shift in his fortune. The massacre in Scottland, the two motorcycle incidences, meeting the Pack, Brentwood turning traitor, that prick politician kidnapping Alex back in ninety-five, and far too many other occurrences between that and the horrible night that had brought him to this point.

He narrowed his eyes. "What do you get out of this?"

She shrugged "I have no use for it, for one thing. You can't fathom all the magical paraphernalia I have amassed in the past centuries and not all of it can be easily disposed of. Some, like this crystal, must be used to no longer be a potential problem. There was once hundreds of such devices in the world, and no, I did not possess many of them. This is the last of the four I owned."

Demona paused for a moment, more than likely thinking about whoever she had used the other orbs to contact, and Lexington tried not to let his natural curiosity abduct him down the endless path of questions this opened up.   
Who were they? What had they meant to her? Or had she used them for herself at all? Perhaps she had bartered them away for good or services far more practical to her goals.

"That's an incidental benefit but I highly doubt it's your true motivation." He frowned, carefully clutching the crystal close to his chest. All else aside, no way in Hell was she getting it back now.

She smirked again and surprised him by pinching his cheek like condescending teacher. "As I said, so clever." She stepped back in case he decided it was worth the risk to deck her. "I made a grave error in judgment eight years ago, when I came to the conclusion that Brooklyn was the one I could possibly reach. Surely by now, with your history with the Pack, that politician's efforts nearly resulting in your death or that of the halfling child, and now all this." 

Demona gestured to indicate his reconstructed form and despite himself, Lexington bowed his head and curled his tail about his shins in embarrassment.

"And the loss of your mate." She shook her head in what would appear to be sympathy but Lex firmly reminded himself what a great actress Demona had become over the centuries she had to survive alone.

"You're hoping Amp will want vengeance." Lexington murmured "That he'll convince me to join your cause." Suddenly he felt a cold dread spread out from his heart. 

What would he do if that turned out to be the case? How could he deny what would be, in essence, his mate's final request? But at the same time how could he do such a thing? LexCorp had majority human employees, and there was his personal friends to consider.

Elisa was like an elder sister to him. He had kept every gift she had ever given him over the past eight years, and there had been many. She was forever finding him new tech magazines and helping him to sign up for online classes to further his education. 

Then there was Matt Bluestone, risking his career and freedom, and at times his life, to be an unsung hero to their quest for acceptance. He was taking hits from both sides, since P.I.T couldn't be made aware of his secret work hindering the efforts of the Gargoyle task squad.

Geoffrey Robins was a true treasure, not only for his calm wisdom and wonderful humor but also for the shelter he could offer them in an emergency and the companionship he offered Hudson, who would be woefully lacking in a social outlet that could understand where he was coming from in a generational sense.

King Arthur, Dr. Sato, those two archeologists Elisa had befriended during the scrolls of Merlin adventure, the human members of the Ishimura clan, Princess Catherine and Sir Tom, and the numerous people who lived in Talon's Labyrinth.   
But most importantly of all, Alexander.

The boy was every bit as much his Rookery son as Nashville was. Lex could never wage war on a race that was more than half responsible for the existence of one so precious to him.

Lexington was painfully aware of the darkness within himself. He had a bad habit of holding grudges and wanting to respond in kind when others hurt him or someone he loved. But Amp had accepted these truths and helped him to work on turning his weaknesses into strengths. Less thoughts of revenge and more efforts towards justice, letting go of anger and guilt and holding on to love.

He closed his eyes and whispered "You're wrong about him. And you're wrong about me, Demona."

"We shall see, won't we." The immortal smiled smugly and slipped away into the shadows. It was only after she had gone that he realized, she had never told him how she had slipped passed the London clan's patrols. 

Sighing with irritation Lexington started heading back the way he had come. One convenient feature included in his programming was similar to GPS. He'd never get lost again and all it had cost him was half his 'humanity', for the lack of a more acurate term.

He needed to tell Goliath and Griff that Demona had been there, and might linger. Xanatos may have wanted to know one of his most powerful competitors was doing business in England as well.

Lexcorp wasn't international yet, so he had nothing to worry about on that front and anything that distracted Xanatos and Fox from his own fledgling business was a good thing in Lex's book.

Then there was the crystal to consider.  
He couldn't lie to himself, he was sorely tempted to keep it a secret. More than likely Goliath and the others would insist that he not try it, and they'd be right from a logical standpoint.

But love wasn't logical. Love was crazy and eighty percent taking chances that no same person would even consider. If that didn't describe the situation perfectly, nothing would.

As he approached the mansion he paused to wave down Goliath, Griff and Leo. As the three taller males joined him in front of the impressive front doors, he asked Leo to find Angela for him. "She needs to be here for what I'm going to tell all of you." Was all the explanation he gave the gruff Londoner.

Thankfully it didn't take very long for Angela to arrive. The moment she saw Lexington and the look he was giving her, she wilted like a rose after a killer frost. She capped her wings and bowed her head, guilt radiating off of her like warmth off a candle.

"I'm sorry Lexington." She whispered. "I had only thought to confide in her. I've been so worried about you and if anyone understands grief... I thought she was the best person to seek advice from."

"Who? And sorry for what?" Goliath raised an eye ridge and Lex took this as the perfect cue to explain what had happened on his walk.

In a split second decision he left out the gift completely, praying Angela knew nothing about her mother's plan and was thankful when that seemed to be the case. He spun the tale to seem like Demona had only tried to persuade him with words.

Goliath sighed and shook his head. Glaring sternly at his daughter he all but growled "I'm very disappointed in you Angela. It wasn't your place to tell Demona about Amp's ceremony. Especially without asking Lexington or the London clan's permission first. He could have been injured, or worse."

"Griff!" A teenage member of the London clan came running up to the small group, panting as though he had come a long way very quickly. He looked like a dark grey wolf with speckled hawk wings. " Our sentries on the east side, they've been attacked! Una and I found them when we went to bring them their dinner. She says it was powerful battle magic. Addicus has a busted wing and Edith a bad head injury."

"Bloody Hell!" Griff grumbled, he shot Angela an angry look and nodded to Goliath, trusting his friend to do the right thing while he saw to the situation. "Lead the way Romulus. I'll help you to carry them back while Leo and Una investigate the scene. Though I think we already know who's to blame."

Ignoring the youth's puzzled expression, the two old friends left with him, each muttering about their disbelief and irritation at the lass's careless act and the trouble it had caused.

Left alone, the members of the Manhattan clan stood in uncomfortable silence for several minutes. Tears of guilt and betrayal silently slid down Angela's lovely face and Goliath sighed, shaking his head.  
Socially and politically this worsened relations with the London clan and the World Council in general, they were only fortunate no one had been killed.

"Angela," Lexington finally broke the silence and his voice sounded oddly loud in its firmness despite it's normal volume. "I understand you not wanting to give up on your mother, but you have to be more careful." He gently lifted her chin to make her look him in the eye. "There's more at stake than just your relationship with her and our clan's safety." He started walking towards the mansion's front doors "Other people's feelings and futures count besides your own."

With that last barb of a comment, he went inside the modern style fortress, leaving Goliath to continue talking sense into the well meaning female. Lex felt his involvement in the fiasco was played out.

There was only two hours left until Amp's ceremony, not much time to find somewhere private to cast the spell and have the entire promised hour uninterrupted. No way could he risk doing it after the ritual. 

Welcomed or not, he was the guest of honor as Amp's widower and as such he would be expected to accept condolences and bare witness to reminiscences from the other bereaved. It was too much to count on it all wrapping up before sunrise.

His only hope was Coco. He would have to explain the situation to her and pray she would be willing to suggest some place they could go, to have their final time with the one they both loved best. For sharing the experience he must. Lexington couldn't sum up the audacity to ask for her help, only to deny her the chance to see her best friend one last time. As much as some small selfish part of him wanted to keep it all to himself, he couldn't.

As his mind had milled this over, his feet had brought him to his destination. Sure enough, there she stood next to her favorite tree in a small courtyard towards the back of the clan's stronghold.

"Coco." He had meant to say more, a proper greeting or an apology for interrupting her solitude, but when their eyes met and he realized they were both tearing up, words became meaningless.

One moment they were staring at each other in mild surprise, the next, Lexington found himself enveloped in his friend's arms and wings.

Their tears mingled as they nuzzled each other's faces, an overwhelming sense of relief washed over the two young adults. Finally, someone who understood. After all those painful weeks enduring their loss alone, they felt like two broken halves being reunited to begin a mending.

Lex sobbed quietly, burrowing his face in her thick ginger hair. Coco gently tightened her grip about his much smaller frame, her grief tampered by her joy of seeing him again.

"You must think I'm a right bitch for avoiding you like I've been." She sniffled as they pulled apart just enough to be able to look at each other while they talked.

"No, never." Lex gasped "I thought maybe you hated me. After all, it was my fault."

"Don't you dare say that." She cupped his face in her hands, looking straight into his large blue eyes "Don't you dare, do you understand?" She shook her head sadly. "I won't have it Lexington. You did nothing to cause any of this, and there are too many gits with their heads up their arses running around spouting such nonsense. I won't have you buying into it."

He starred at her, the sheer determination of her expression winning the argument before it could really begin. He signed, bowed his head and clasped her wrists "Okay." he whispered and she kissed his forehead.

"The reason I was dodging you like I was... I... I thought, somehow, if I just never saw you, I could," she paused to steady her breathing and Lex pulled her close again to offer her courage with his presence.  
"I thought I could go on pretending it wasn't so. That my favorite brother was just across the pond. If I just didn't have the image of his broken hearted life-mate to make it all real for me."

"I'm sorry." he said out of reflex and she gently shook him by his shoulders.

"I said, don't do that! Don't apologize for things you can't control Lexington. It's a nasty habit and a hard one to break once you start." She scowled at him with good intentions.

"Alright, alright, fine." He sighed again and closed his eyes a moment, steeling himself for what he had to do next. He retrieved the crystal from the small pouch hs kept on his belt and held it up so his Rookery sister could see it. 

"We haven't much time, so I'll explain in more detail later. Suffice it to say, this is a spell that will give us an hour to communicate with Amp one last time. Don't ask questions now." He firmly hushed her. "I promise, after we're done, I'll answer anything you ask of me, but for now we need somewhere with guaranteed privacy. This will only work for an hour and only tonight. Please say you understand Coco." he pleaded.

She stared at him, unblinking and completely still. After a few heartbeats, she nodded. "The Rookery. All the little ones should be starting supper right now. If we hurry, they'll be no reason for anyone to disturb us for at least as long as you say we'll need."

They quickly headed to the most sacred and well protected part of any clan's roost.  
Between Coco's knowledge of her home's inner byways and Lexington's status as a social pariah, they still had and hour and thirty-five minutes, until they needed to attend the ceremony where it would start on the mansion's roof.

Coco locked the doors behind them for good measure, and joined him towards the center of the cavernous sanctum.

Lexington bit his lower lip and muttered "Please work."

Coco frowned, confused, but before she could inquire about his concerning plea, the short male decisively smashed the delicate crystal on the floor before them, setting the summons in motion.

A silver light mixed with golden sparks of energy swirled up from the glistening multitude of shards. As the eerily beautiful spectacle gathered itself up into a familiar form, it was accompanied by a battle roar they both knew as well as their own. They shivered, neither certain if it was from the anticipation or the sudden drop in temperature in the room.

As all fell silent, there before the bewildered pair was the shimmering semi-transparent image of a handsome British Gargoyle, resembling a white stag with silver antlers and pure white feathered wings.

Amp's ghost stared down at himself in unbridled surprise. He quickly noticed his audience and blinked in shock. "What the bloody Hell happened?" he blurted "The last thing I remember is an explosion...Lexington!" his expression fell as his mate's appearance finally registered. "Oh my love... I failed you." he whispered and the phantasm's wings drooped. "I am so sorry darling."

"Now don't you start." Coco interjected and folded her arms across her impressive bosom. "The Dragon preserve me from stupid males and their need to blame themselves!" she grumbled " It was the Quarrymens' fault and no one else's."

"Coco what are you doing in Manhattan?" Amp blinked and glanced between the two of them. "How long was I unconscious?" He gestured to Lexington "Your injuries are all taken care of, and Coco's here all the way from London."   
His confusion was growing by the minute. "And why in God's name am I partially see-through? I feel like Jacob Marley."

"You're not in Manhattan Luv, you're back in Knight's Spur." Coco explained. "It's been a month or so since..." her bravado faltered and she looked to Lexington, sadness overtaking her pleasant features.

"Since what?" Amp urged her, but the fear was apparent in his agitated body language (despite not having a body anymore).

"Since we lost you." Lex whispered, heavy tears flowing freely and silently down his face as he stared, unashamed, at his mate. He wanted nothing more than to have Amp talk, and go on talking for the entire hour left to them, just so he could hang on to every beautiful syllable.

"Lost me?" Amp chuckled nervously "What are you on about handsome? I'm right here. Coco, he's having a go at me, right?"

"Bro," she began but words failed her, so instead she impulsively passed her hand through his chest, causing herself to shudder from the chill it gave her. Amp, for his part, gasped in shock.

"Coco!" Lex facepalmed.

"I don't recommend trying that, just so's you know. Brrr!" She shuddered again and wrapped both her arms and her wings about herself.

"I'm... I'm really..." Amp stuttered. None of them had the heart to say it and thankfully there was no need to. Abruptly his mood shifted from shock to irritation. "Well shit." he growled.

Despite himself, Lexington couldn't help it as a quite laugh escaped him. It was just so like Amp to react that way. "I love you nerd boy."

Amp grinned "Love you more."

Coco just smiled and shook her head fondly at their exchange. She was content with what she had been given, time to leave what remained to her friends. "I'm going to go out and keep watch. You two, enjoy this. I wish I could do more for you my dears."

"You don't have to." Lex offered softly, but his eyes said 'thank you' from the depths of his heart.

Coco nodded, smiling faintly "Yes I do Luv." and turned to leave.

"Sis, wait!" Amp called, reaching out to her. He managed to stop himself before he could give her another chill. 

She stopped and looked back at him, her shoulders slumped and her expression sullen. Never had Lex seen the proud, strong willed female look so defeated. She knew this was it, she had wanted this, a chance to say goodbye, but now that the moment was here she wished it had never come.

"Now don't go melting into a sentimental puddle on me. You know I don't go for that." She tried to tease her Rookery sibling but her voice was trembling and her face was glistening with tears in the torchlight.

"Since when have I ever cared?" He smiled affectionately. "I love you bitch-face."

Coco laughed "Love you best, asshole."

They smiled at each other for a moment more, but the second the smiles faded into sadness again, Coco quickly unlocked the heavy door and left before she could loose her conviction.

Alone now, the two young males fell silent. They hadn't felt this akward with each other since they first made the transition from friends to courting. Each of them made several attempts to begin a conversation, only to stop themselves just as quickly.

"How long do we have?" Amp asked.

Checking his internal clock Lex answered "About forty minutes left."

"Fuck, that's all?" The Londoner blinked in dismay.

His mate chuckled "Hudson has said that you were a bad influence on me. I never swore before we became mates."

"Got you to loosen up eh? Good." Amp looked smug.

Lexington rolled his eyes and folded his arms. "Only you would be proud of being a corruptive influence."

"Don't think me ungrateful for this opportunity Lex but, you're an inventor, not a sorcerer. How did you manage this? I didn't think Una knew this sort of magic." Amp looked uncomfortable as he came right out and called it what it was, "She always stressed that Necromancy, in any form, was dark magic and therefore forbidden." He shrugged "Us youngsters weren't even allowed to have a Quiji board to play with."

Now it was Lexington's turn to squirm a little, as he confessed the entire truth to his mate. The last thing he wanted to do was lie to Amp now, even if it meant ticking him off.

"Seriously Lexington?! Demona? You trusted that scheming, mental..." the specter closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a few seconds to calm himself. Sighing, he frowned at his mate "I trust I don't have to explain why that was the dumbest risk you've ever taken."

"One might argue it was the second dumbest." The cyborg looked down at Amp's hooves, unable to continue looking his lover in the eye but not able to bring himself to look away from him completely either. Hugging himself, Lex sobbed "Amp, I am so sorry..."

The air around him grew incredibly cold as the spirit knelt close to him, only to stop short of making contact.  
"I can't hold you." Amp gazed at his hands in frustration. "You're the love of my life, you're in pain and I can't hold you."

"It's all my fault." Lex felt like the world was crumbling around him "I got you killed, and everyone knows it."

"Bullocks to that. It was the Quarrymen's fault, just like Coco said." The white furred Londoner growled.

A cold dread crept up Lex's spine. "You blame the humans for this?"

"What? No. Well, certainly not all humans. The ones who specifically killed me, yes, but," Amp sputtered for a moment, then he noticed something his spouse had said earlier. "Wait Lex, you said, 'everyone knows it'." His expression turned suspicious "Has my birth clan been mistreating you?"

"Nothing I don't deserve." He muttered, curling his tail about himself, managing to look even smaller. The Scottish born Gargoyle was the picture of misery. "Pog didn't want me here for your Wind Ceremony. He held a meeting of the World Council without our clan's knowledge, to force us to return your ashes here." He paused to wet his parched throat by swallowing, but it didn't help. "The wanted me to mail them and said it wasn't necessary for me to attend."

"Where the Bloody Hell does that doddering old bastard get off, telling my own life-mate, not to attend my Wind Ceremony?!" Amp practically erupted, his aura turned red with righteous offense. "That, that...!" Words failed him for a moment and he growled "That addlebrained ancient feather duster! I'll haunt him for the rest of his nights, just as soon as I figure out how, and don't think I won't! And mail me? What in God's name does he think I am, a bloomin' postcard?!"

Lex gave a quite laugh born of nerves. "Amp, calm down."

"I most certainly will not!" The irate ghost huffed. "I'm well and truly pissed off Lexington! Pissed off at the Quarrymen for stealing all the years we had left together, at Old Pog for being a total arse, at my birth clan for abusing you in the full knowledge I'd have never wanted any such thing, and at myself." 

He had slowly run out of steam and changed back to a silvery glow, his wings dropping and his head bowed in defeat. "I failed you darling. I was right there, and just look at what I let those monsters do to you." He hid his face in his hands and moaned miserably.

"Amp I'm fine." So much for not lying to him. Lexington had become so accustomed to responding with that answer, it just automatically popped out before he could think better of it. With nothing to be done for it, he blundered on.

"I survived and really, these replacements," he settled on that phrase since a better one refused to present itself "they're not so bad. Better than being an invalid." He shrugged. "Nashville has a way to help me come out of the panic attacks and I'm having nightmares less frequently. The rest of the clan has been looking out for me and making sure I remember to eat."   
He was conscious of the fact that he was rambling and, with a thrust of effort, he stopped himself cold.

"I don't even know how to respond to that. Nightmares and panic attacks, you have to be reminded to eat? Good Lord." Amp sighed and looked up. "I love you Lexington." He sounded exhausted, just like Lex had for the past month. Ghosts could be depressed?

"I love you too." Lex whispered. "God Amp. I've miss you so much." He held up his hands and frowned, as his mate opened his mouth to say something he knew he didn't want to hear. "Ut-uh, don't you dare apologize again. We are not going to waste what precious little time we have left going around in circles."

Amp laughed "Ok, you're right, of course." He became very serious all of a sudden. "I need you to promise me a few things."

"Anything." Lex readily agreed, meaning it more than he had ever meant anything else in his entire life.

"You're not going to like a few of these darling." The Londoner warned, arching an eye ridge at him. "I know you. You're as stubborn as you are brilliant and that's saying something."

"I'm stubborn? Pot meet kettle." Lexington snorted and shook his head. "Joking aside, I swear to you, I'll do whatever you want. There's nothing you could ask of me that I would deny you."

Amp said "If the opportunity comes up, I want you to feel free to take new mate."

"Except that." Lex deadpanned.

"Lexington of Wyvern!" Amp huffed and folded his arms. "You just swore to me!"

"Oh come on!" Lexington balked at the very suggestion. "You know I never loved anyone else. I mean, I know you courted others before me, and I'm totally ok with that, always have been, but I'm a traditionalist. You have one mate for life and that's it." He shrugged and somehow made the normally nonchalant gesture look defensive. "It's how we Scottish Gargoyles are raised."

Amp rolled his brown eyes and resumed glaring at the cyborg "Come off it. You can't honestly expect me to accept an upbringing that's a thosand years out of date as a legitimate excuse. What about Goliath? He's even more of a traditionalist then you are and he took a second mate, and Demona isn't even dead. More is the pity." He muttered the last part, refusing to acknowledge that they owed the witch this priceless time together in the first place.

"That's different." Lex crossed his arms, the aforementioned stubbornness rearing it's ugly head.

"Why? Because Elisa is human? That's a weak argument love, you could do better than that, if there was a better option to be had, and you know that there isn't." The handsome ghost smirked triumphantly. "Just admit you lost this one and promise me like a good lad."

Lexington sighed and his shoulders slumped. "Amp," his voice took on a pleading tone and tears threatened to spill from his large blue eyes "how could anyone compare to you?"

Amp's expression softened with true affection. "If it's so impossible, than there's no harm in promising me, is there?"

Now it was Lexington's turn to scowl. "That line of logic is so contorted it could win a game of Twister." he growled, but relented non the less.  
"Fine! If, on the extremely unlikely chance I find love again, I'll keep an open mind about it. Happy?"

"Not really, but it will do." Amp smiled. "On to my second request."

"Thank the Dragon." The green Gargoyle mumbled.

"You say that now," chuckled his mate "but wait until you hear it."

"Oh God." Lex grimaced. With Amp there was no telling what was coming next, but judging by the familiar glint of mischief in his eyes, Lex knew it was going to be as much fun as it was trouble.

"I want you and Coco to put a laxative in Old Pog's tea every night for how ever long you're going to be staying."

Lexington stared at him, mouth gone slack and eyes wide. "Are you serious?"

"Dead serious." The Londoner winced "Ew, no pun intended."

Lex felt the corners of his mouth twitch despite himself and by the time Amp was comically wriggling his eye ridges at him, he couldn't stop the laughter from bubbling out.  
It was the first completley uninhibited joyful feeling he had in over a month and also the most beautiful sound Amp's weary soul ever heard.

"Deal! Oh, Coco is going to love this." Lexington managed to say as he got control of himself.

"If I know our dear Rookery sister as well as I think I do, she's already plotting far worse for the old fart." Amp smirked. Not wanting to spoil the moment but needing to know, he asked, "Time check?"

Lex looked dismayed. "Shit. Only twelve minutes."

"Hudson's right." Amp smiled sadly "I was a bad influence."

"Only the swearing part." Lex blushed. It still amazed Amp how charming his mate could be without even trying or being aware of it.

"My last request." Amp insisted, having never looked so focused before in Lexington's memory. "Don't let loosing me defeat you."

"Amp," Lex shook his head "I don't understand."

"Don't give up, please!" Amp seemed desperate, less than twelve minutes left and so much to say. It wasn't fair, they were so young, they were supposed to have an entire lifetime together ahead of them. "Don't loose the will to live, don't hurt yourself with neglect or let others treat you badly." He looked Lexington straight in the eye and declared firmly "I don't blame you, and that's the final word on the matter."

Was it Lexington's imagination, or was Amp starting to fade? "Amp!"

"Promise me, please!" The ghost pleaded.

"I promise." Lex furiously whipped tears away, they were blocking his view. He didn't even want to blink, every second was precious.

"You'll take care of yourself? I can't rest if I'm worrying about you." His voice was growing quieter. More distant, as though he were being pulled away.

"I promise, I promise." despite his logical mind, Lex instinctively reached for his mate.

"I love you..." almost gone now, Lexington could barely make out Amp's hand as he reached back for him.

"I love you too...Amp!"

...Gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm toying with the idea of an epilogue. We'll see, if inspiration strikes or if enough readers express interest in one.
> 
> Story notes:  
> VTOL stands for Vertical Take-Off & Landing.
> 
> Yes, I referenced Jim Henson's Labyrinth, I went there, lol. I feel no shame!
> 
> The reference to a 'prick politician' kidnapping Alex in nineteen ninety-five is from an episode of the often hated Goliath Chronicles and technically is one of the episodes not considered cannon by the show's creators. But it was an entire episode centered around Lexington, my all time favorite character! I can't ignore that, despite it's many flaws (not the least of which is crappy animation and lousy dialogue that the poor cast had to soldier through, bless them!).
> 
> Lex also mentions the Demona/Brooklyn encounter of nineteen ninety-four, see the season one episode "Temptation" for the full tea on that lovely little drama.
> 
> Brentwood is Lexington's clone, every member of the clan got one (with the exception of Angela), thanks to Demona and Anton Sevarius the mad scientist. He sides with Thailog, Goliath's evil clone, whereas the rest of the clones stay on the side of the forces of good. Lex took this as a personal betrayal, fearing it reflected badly on him somehow. This happened in the official continuation of the show, the comics by Slave Labor Graphics.
> 
> Lexcorp is an actual cannon thing. Lexington, with help from Amp, was going to start his own company if the series had continued in either animated or comic book form. Check out GargWiki or the 'Ask Greg' corner of the official Gargoyles fan website for more details on that.

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies for any and all spelling errors, I was being kinda rushed and borrowing a friend's laptop that had the worst spell checker ever! More chapters to come.


End file.
